How to Deal with a Micromanager (Without Crying or Quitting)

My roommate works for a micromanager. Normally she can handle it, but sometimes the stress gets the best of her. Last week, she came home in tears. As an only child who never learned how to deal with other people’s emotions, I just blinked at her and said, “Oh, uh, hi.” Thankfully, she knows me well enough to launch right into what was bothering her without making me ask.  

“My boss won’t let me do anything,” she told me. “And now we’re moving to a different floor and she wants my desk to be set up right outside her door. She’ll be able to see everything I’m working on. It’s not like I goof off a lot, but now I’m afraid she’ll be in my business more than she already is.”

If you’re in your first (or second, or third) job like my roommate, it can be difficult to navigate different personality types in managers. You’re learning how to work with and for another human being, which is hard enough on its own. Adding conflicting personalities on top of this learning period can be extra challenging.

Identifying a micromanager

As a young professional myself, I realized I had no answers for her. However, I’m nosy and like to fix things for people. I decided to ask my own boss, Kortney, to weigh in on the situation.  

Sure enough, she had some very useful advice for me to pass along. First, she gave me her own list of questions she asks herself when figuring out if someone is a micromanager:        

1. Is this person proactively reviewing my work?
2. Does this person insert his or herself into every aspect of a project of assignment?
3. Can I make decisions without fear of criticism or being told I did it wrong?

Yes, yes, and no. Okay. Her boss is officially a micromanager. Now what?

Communication is key

First, working with a micromanager is all about communication. That means you have to communicate how you’re feeling. It’s definitely not easy, but it’s a skill that can be practiced and improved upon like any other. Once you feel like you have everything you need to bring up, ask for a meeting with your supervisor. (Yes, you need to do this.)

Here’s the deal: it’s scary and uncomfortable, but open communication is a necessary part of a happy workplace. No one can read your mind. There’s a chance your manager doesn’t know he or she is upsetting you. And speaking up isn’t making you a bother or making you seem demanding. Asking for what you need from your supervisor can only improve workflow and productivity, which reflects positively on both you.

Talking points

Now that you’ve called a meeting, what are you going to say? Organizing your thoughts before the meeting can help you stay on task and not forget all the important points you want to address. Here are two examples Kortney suggested:  

1. Document times your boss has micromanaged you.

Ask why your supervisor gave you a project, only to turn around and do it themselves. Ask why you were told your judgement call was wrong, even though you had reasoning behind your decision.

2. Clarify your duties.

A few months ago my roommate was given a project. At one point while working on it, she asked for clarification. Instead of clarifying, her boss said she’d already finished it. During their meeting, my roommate should try to sit down with her supervisor and say, “When you gave me that project to work on, I was surprised to find out you had started working on it. Can you tell me why you did that so we can avoid doubling up on the same work in the future?”

To take this one step further, she could also ask for deadlines. For example, “When you give me a project to work on, please give me a deadline. I will do my best to meet it, or let you know if I run into an issue.” She could offer to give periodic updates as well if her supervisor isn’t entirely sold.

You’ve got this

Dealing with a micromanager can be intimidating and frustrating. Just remember that you do have control over the situation. Break it down into steps: acknowledge the situation, document examples, call a meeting, present how you’re feeling, and present potential solutions.

Finally, congratulations! Be proud of yourself. You now have another experience you can use as you advance in your career.