How To Talk with Your Boss After Receiving a Poor Performance Review

This is the fourth installment in SkillPath’s series on “Tough Conversations to Have With Your Boss.” Some discussion topics are difficult to broach with your manager, and some questions feel awkward to ask. This series will help you navigate those moments.

The end of the year often means performance reviews are imminent. For some, they might feel routine and issue no surprises; for others, they might feel much more critical or unfair than expected. This is especially the case if your superiors didn’t bring your attention to any inferior work at any point in the year.

A performance review where you mostly just “met expectations” isn’t a bad thing, but receiving poor comments can feel like a punch to the gut. It’s natural to experience frustration, disappointment, or even fear about your future with the company. 

However, you can approach this situation with positivity; it can be an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s possible (even advisable) to have a thoughtful, professional conversation with your boss after having a poor performance review. 

This discussion isn’t just about demonstrating resilience and showing a willingness to improve. It’s an opportunity for you to gain clarity on expectations and chart a new, more communicative path forward.

Take time to process before responding

Before doing anything, give yourself time to absorb the feedback. Reacting immediately, especially if emotions are high, can lead to defensiveness or miscommunication. Review your performance review carefully and identify the specific areas where you fell short. 

Take time for honest self-reflection. Be prepared to accept that you may have messed up on some things. If you do find something you want to push back on, well, that’s why you take time to prepare before responding. 

At this point, it’s important to understand the difference between an excuse and a reason. Imagine if one of the things mentioned on your performance review was poor communication, and it cited a situation where you failed to follow instructions on a team project, leading to everyone else falling behind. 

An excuse would be, “the instructions I was given weren’t clear.” A reason would be, “I felt confused by the instructions, and I tried to follow-up twice about my responsibilities, but didn’t receive a response.” 

In a scenario like this, it’s best to be able to show receipts of the steps you took to communicate with others, since that is what was given a poor review. You can stay ahead of the curve on this by documenting what you accomplished each month.

Preparation is key. Start by listing the main points from your review that you want to clarify. Take special note of:

• Specific projects or tasks that didn’t meet expectations
• Gaps in communication or collaboration
• Measurable goals you can work toward

Gather examples of your work that demonstrate effort or progress, even if the results weren’t perfect. This isn’t about arguing your case, but about providing context and showing that you care about your performance.

Approach the meeting with positive intent

When you reach out to your boss, keep your tone professional and constructive. Send a simple message like, “I appreciate the feedback you shared in my review. I’d like to schedule a time to discuss it further and get your guidance on how I can improve moving forward.” This shows initiative and signals that you’re committed to growth rather than dwelling on the negative.

Even though you might be pushing back on some of the things that were in your performance review, remember that you can’t change the past. All you can do is try to avoid repeating the same mistakes moving forward. 

Frame your mindset around curiosity and improvement, rather than defensiveness. Instead of saying, “I don’t think this review was fair,” try, “I’d like to understand more about where I fell short and what success looks like in your eyes.” This approach dialogue and benchmarks rather than conflict.

Ask open-ended questions that spark more than just a yes or no answer; they’ll show that you’re invested in clarifying and aligning with your boss’s expectations.

Focus on listening rather than formulating rebuttals. Take notes on key points, as this demonstrates professionalism and ensures you don’t miss important details. If something isn’t clear, ask for clarification. Take things one at a time. Listen closely and absorb their thoughts fully rather than just planning your own response.

Once you’ve listened, you can share your perspective – but keep it constructive. 

Collaborate on an Improvement Plan

The most important outcome of this conversation is a clear path forward. Ask your boss for specific, measurable goals, and timelines. In the above example of the supposed poor communication, you could propose setting up monthly check-ins to ensure you’re communicating in a way that helps avoid confusion.

Structure your ideal path forward together. By co-creating an improvement plan, you demonstrate commitment and give your boss confidence that you’re taking the feedback seriously.

After the meeting, send a brief email summarizing the key points and agreed-upon actions. This not only reinforces your professionalism but also creates a reference point for future discussions. Then, focus on executing the plan. Consistent effort and visible progress can turn a negative review into a success story.

A bad performance review doesn’t define your career; it’s a snapshot, not the full picture. How you respond matters far more than the review itself. By approaching the conversation with humility, curiosity, and a proactive attitude, you can transform a difficult moment into an opportunity for growth.