Is Self-Doubt or Too Much Humility Overshadowing Your Competence?

“As women, we often wait until we’re competent before we feel confident, whereas men often feel confident before they’ve achieved full competence,” said Michelle Shepard, founder of the Women in Real Life (WiRL) leadership summit.

In business, confidence plays a huge role in getting ahead. Hiring decisions, promotions, meetings are all situations requiring confidence along with competence. When someone projects confidence, we assume they know what they’re doing. We trust them. And, in a situation where you’re forced to choose between unknowns, this is an easy way to separate or rank individuals.

That’s because assessing competence (particularly with complicated skill sets) is often hard to do quickly. And, if you’re the judge, you, yourself need some level of expertise in what you’re assessing.

Competence and confidence can be hard to untangle.

Now add in a male-female perspective difference. Women tend to have more self-doubt than men. An internal report at Hewlett Packard found that men apply for a job or promotion when they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100 percent of them, reports forbes.com. Stacey Parker, corporate recruiter at SkillPath, sees this trend and encourages women to go for jobs they can grow into. “Rarely does a job applicant have 100 percent of a long list of requirements, so that shouldn’t keep you from applying.” So, women might just be selling themselves short.

There’s also a difference in the way men and women view confidence. A man might perceive a woman’s humility as a lack of confidence, whereas another woman might judge that same humility as honesty.

 

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In an article by Bruce Kasanoff for Forbes, he points out the problem with this difference in perception: “In the senior management ranks of most organizations, men significantly outnumber women.” This puts the judgments for these top positions in the hands of men.

Which means it’s valuable to consider who’s judging your work. Your confidence needs to be ready when you need it.

Here are three workplace situations where competence could be overshadowed by a lack of confidence:

1. Interviewing and hiring. When organizations are truly looking for the most qualified candidate, a highly structured process helps eliminate some of the bias. However, confidence is often needed on the job too, so shoring up yours might be valuable. Here’s an article with some easy tips for feeling more confident immediately.

2. Meetings. Assertive, self-assured people stand out in meetings. Although the loudest sometimes get the upper hand, if it’s a group of business associates, competence has usually been established, so it’s just a matter of speaking up.

3. Moving up the corporate ladder. Competent, confident people do good work and make sure it’s seen. They put their hat in the ring for advancement opportunities, because they feel ready for a challenge. They’re more visible.

Real confidence can be developed. It takes focus and a decision to make a change. Need more tips? Check out this psychologytoday.com article.

Starting could be as simple as reviewing your accomplishments, then setting up a quick meeting with your boss to talk about your work, your goals and where you’d like to be. Once that door is open, make steady work on that relationship. Get excited about your accomplishments. Talk through your ideas. Make suggestions. Communicate.

You don’t have to be loud to be confident.

You don’t have to be confrontational to be confident.

Let go of some of your humility. Toot your own horn occasionally. You are competent. You have the information. Speak up.

 

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