Revisiting the Hug and Its Place at Work

I guess we can officially say “hugs are back.” But before we get hasty on this Hug Holiday 2021 (Yep, it’s a day encouraging people to hug.), let’s review the etiquette when it comes to hugging at work.

First, science tells us that hugs have positive health effects. Hugging offers a buffer to stress and can lessen conflict. When a hug is good, the brain releases oxytocin, which lowers blood pressure and improves the immune system.

Hugs can be iffy territory at work

But hugs can be awkward. We’ve all been on either the giving or receiving end of an uncomfortable embrace. And it happens easily because we don’t all feel the same about hugging. You’ve got huggers and non-huggers, a variety of business situations, industries and cultures as well as varying degrees of familiarity or rank with the people around us. In many situations, a hug can seem out of place.

“To be any good, an embrace must be mutual,” writes author Garrison Keillor. But the trouble is, how do you know in advance if someone wants a hug?

Clearly there are people who declare themselves “huggers” and just go for the embrace every time, regardless of the recipient’s anticipated reciprocation. In addition to possibly making the other person uncomfortable , this can be risky for you as well, the legal community warns.

Speaking of relationships … here’s a live, virtual seminar: Building More Effective Work Relationships.

Better to be safe with a few workplace hugging rules:

1. The handshake is the standard for business greetings and introductions. A handshake can be a warm gesture if it’s genuine, suggests roberthalf.com.
2. A higher-ranking person should almost never initiate a hug with a lower-ranking person (even if you ask if it’s OK to give a hug), suggests cnn.com.
3. If someone says “I don’t like hugging,” don’t hug that person or put him or her in a spot where hugging is synonymous with teamwork, from inc.com.
4. If you’re an over-hugger, learn to gauge the other person’s body language before you hug. When someone is standing straight as a board and isn’t bending toward you, either let them initiate the hug or offer your hands in greeting instead, suggests psychologytoday.com.
5. At work, it’s best to leave hugging for someone you know really well or for special occasions such as when someone leaves or retires … but only if that behavior seems acceptable for your workplace or industry, i.e., you’ve seen it before, suggests psychologytoday.com.

  Hugs are back. But they’re not always appropriate at work. Consider carefully before you embrace.