Taking Responsibility: Eight Do’s and Don’ts of Owning Your Mistakes

It’s not easy to own up to our mistakes, especially in a competitive workplace environment. Some people, psychologists say, never learn to say “I’m sorry.” But when you make a mistake at work — large or small — a lot of things hang on your ability to take responsibility.

Things like trust. Relationships. Even your career track. That makes owning mistakes the right way a must.

Ideally, we catch our own mistakes before they can do any damage. We fix them (no harm, no foul) and move on. But often, we don’t notice them until it’s too late. That, or someone else catches them and reaches out to say, “Hey, this is wrong.”
 

For more on building trust at work, check out Strengthening Your Credibility for Career Success

Either way, there are definite do’s and don’ts when it comes to owning a mistake.

The right and wrong ways to handle your mistakes

Do: Acknowledge the mistake and notify anyone who might be affected by it. 

Do this even if you’ve fixed the mistake at your end. If you’ve passed on incorrect information, or made an error in a multi-step process, someone else might already be working from a bad result.

This might be as simple as sending a quick message: “Sorry, I sent you the wrong link. This is the correct one.” Or it might be calling an emergency meeting to say “Stop selling the new product line. It wasn’t supposed to release until tomorrow, but I got the date wrong.”

Don’t: Blow up at someone else who catches your mistake. 

This is true even if they do it publicly in an attempt to undermine you. No one likes to be caught in a mistake, especially an embarrassing one. Don’t compound the embarrassment with a blow-up. Assume good faith, thank the person for bringing the matter to your attention, and focus on corrective action.

Do: Answer any questions promptly and honestly. 

Yes, even if it makes you look bad. This is not the time for speculation on why the mistake happened, however. Only say what you know to be a fact, and don’t conceal any facts. Your focus should be on getting the mistake corrected, and that can’t happen if people don’t fully understand what happened.

Don’t: Try to blame someone else, even if they have a share of the blame. 

Own your part in a shared mistake and stop there. Playing the blame game makes you look like you can’t accept responsibility — and like you’re willing to throw a colleague under the bus.

Do: Apologize sincerely for any negative outcomes. 

Even small setbacks can throw off a colleague or a project. Some mistakes can come with massive price tags. Treat all mistakes with the appropriate level of seriousness and concern. Sometimes that’s a quick “Sorry about that.” Sometimes it’s a written apology.

Don’t: Keep apologizing over and over. 

At best, it forces others into the position of having to reassure you that you made an honest mistake. Now they’re forced into emotional labor when they really need to be focusing on the effects of the mistake. At worst, it can seem like an attempt to avoid repercussions for the consequences of your mistake by “punishing” yourself through apology and self-deprecation.

Do: Ask, “What do I need to do to make this right?” 

Then do it. Even if the answer is “Nothing,” it’s on you to try to help mitigate or undo the negative effects of your mistake. However, be careful to do only what you’re told in this situation. Trying to do too much might seem like admirable effort, but it runs the risk of aggravating the mistake.

Don’t: Keep making the same mistakes over and over. 

Show that you’ve owned your mistake by learning from it. Making the same mistakes over and over again isn’t a good look. It paints you as either incapable of learning your lesson, or not really caring about mistake-free work. 

Learning from your own mistakes demonstrates personal growth and resilience. It also makes you better able to help others work through and learn from their mistakes. If others see you owning your mistakes and working to correct them, that provides them with the psychological safety to do the same thing themselves.

One more bonus “Do”: Give yourself the same grace you would want others to give you. Psychologists say it’s harder to own your mistakes when they make you feel bad about yourself. That, in turn, makes it harder to learn and grow from them. 

Mistakes happen. Accepting them and being proactive about correcting them is how we grow from them.